Like a flower that blossoms In the stillness of the night ( An Article Published in the February issue of Jivan)

 

The flower that blossoms in the  tranquillity of the night undergoes a profound interior transformation in silence, unseen by the world. In the stillness of the night, the flower unfolds its petals and shares its essence through the fragrance, touching every passerby without discrimination. People are attracted to this fragrance and cherish the flower's beauty and serene presence. Though the greatest transformations often happen in silence, the fruits of those transformations, like the fragrance of the flower, have the power to reach and impact the world.

St. Ignatius of Loyola experienced a profound interior blossoming in the stillness and solitude of Manresa cave. This period of silence awakened him spiritually and allowed him to encounter God deeply and intimately. This transformative experience enabled him to emerge with the gift of Spiritual Exercises, a tool that carries the essence of his interior journey. As the fragrance of a flower brought by the breeze, the Spiritual Exercises have spread across the world, touching countless lives and leading them to profound personal transformation.

It was a deeply transformative experience to do the one-month Spiritual Exercises again during tertianship, eighteen years after my first encounter in the novitiate. I experienced a profound blossoming in the embrace of silence, allowing me to bloom again with the fragrance of love.

The initial days of the Spiritual Exercises were challenging for me in maintaining silence. The constant noise in my mind and my longing to connect with others often distracted me. The image that came to my mind during this time was the ordinary fishermen going to see on their small boats, called “Kattamaram”. It is a very ordinary boat, made from wooden planks, has no motor and relies entirely on the fishermen’s skill and strength. As the fishermen set out to sea, they often face strong tides that push their boats back to the shore. However, the fishermen repeatedly try to move forward and once they cross the challenging tides, they reach the calm waters.  

Despite the challenges that I faced in the initial days of the retreat, I persevered in quieting my chattering mind and as the days passed, a gradual shift began to take place. I experienced a soothing calm of silence within me. It allowed me to tune into the subtle whispers of God, reminding me that I am created to praise, reverence and serve God. The meditation on the ‘Principle and Foundation’ helped me to reshape my perspective, allowing me to see everything in my life as gifts meant to draw me close to the creator. The desire to praise and serve God ignited a love that seeks God in every moment and every person. Embracing God’s relentless love and mercy by acknowledging my sinfulness was a transformative experience for me in the first week, prompting me to say “I am a loved sinner”.

The journey in the second week reminded me of watching a movie about the life of Jesus during my fourth grade. The film was screened as part of our parish feast celebrations. The scenes of Jesus multiplying bread and healing the sick left an indelible mark on me, and I felt the same sense of awe and wonder as I began contemplating the life and mission of Jesus. As I prayed for the grace to love him more and follow him more closely, I experienced a growing intimacy with Jesus who became a companion walking beside me daily.  The contemplations in the second week reaffirmed that following Christ is not just a response to a call but a daily choice to walk with him in love, trust and humility. The profound understanding of Jesus awakened a sense of clarity and purpose in life.

Walking with a close friend in the final hours of his life was my experience during the third week of the spiritual exercise. The pain of witnessing someone so close to our heart endure tragic moments is not a passive experience, but a shared journey of pain, vulnerability and pain. The third week was an invitation to accompany Jesus in his passion and death and I felt it was a deeply relational and emotional engagement. Walking with Jesus in his passion reminded me of the importance of being present during the difficult times of loved ones. As we accompany Jesus on his way to Calvery, we are called to walk with people who are marginalized, broken and forgotten. True friendship and discipleship challenge us to bear the cross, not as spectators but as companions and this journey does not end at the cross but leads to the hope of the resurrection.

Contemplations on Mary Magdalene’s tears turning into joy at the sound of His voice, the disciples' moment of failure shifting to recognition of Jesus at the breaking of bread, and Thomas’s journey from doubt to belief resonate deeply with my own struggles in the spiritual life. These transformative encounters reminded me that resurrection is not merely an event in history but a reality that touches the broken part of my life with healing and restoration. The journey with the risen Christ was a transformative experience which invited me to live as a resurrection person, holding onto hope and sharing the joy and freedom of the risen Christ with others.

The concluding meditation on the contemplation to obtain love in the Spiritual Exercises helped me to recognize and respond to the boundless love of God which permeates all creation.  Just as a fragrance of flower radiates freely, God’s unconditional love flows abundantly into our lives and it nourishes and sustains our being. The beautiful meditation on the contemplation to obtain love helped me to see God’s infinite love in the world and to share its fragrance with others through acts of service.

This 30-day Spiritual Exercises was a transformative journey that has filled me with a renewed sense of purpose and gratitude.